Welcome back to Part 2 of the art of spiritual connecting. In this blog we will dive deeper into what you need to do to start to make your sexual relationship to a deeper place of connecting. To review, what we touched on in the first blog is:
2.) Feel and Express Your Emotions
3.) Ask for What You Want & Allow Yourself to Dissolve
If you need a deeper explanation for these 3 topics or for the following book a phone session on coaching around these steps. Coaching sessions help bring more clearly into focus what your particular block is around the art of connection.
So how do we go deeper? What do we need to do to allow ourselves to have a spiritual connection? How do we need to show up for ourselves and our partner? These tips are ways to start to allow more of the cosmic juiciness into your life.
1.) Make it A Ritual
The subconscious loves ritual. We see it everywhere in our day to day lives. It’s only getting out of one side of the bed or not washing your lucky socks. Ritual is so powerful and can create deep energetic habits within us. Sometimes we have created a ritual of something that isn’t serving us, or something we aren’t enjoying. For example, maybe when you have sex with your partner you start kissing and then 3 minutes later you are having sex. If this is you let me tell you, you are missing out. You need to make a ritual of taking your time and moving the focus off of just being the sex.
As a culture we deem everything else other than sex as something that doesn’t count or foreplay. In order to have the connection and mind blowing sex you want you need to take your time and let the energy rise. Women especially need this in order to fully let go and have a memorable experience. If its quick and dirty women are left laying there thinking, “What the f*$@ just happened?”
Start the ritual of seduction back into your life. Create a jar of lists of turn ons and have one for you and one for him. The act of thinking of about what turns you on starts to turn you on! Pick one from lady jar once a week or whatever you choose then it’s your partners turn to incorporate that into your week, all week. Make it fun, make it a ritual.
2.) Learn New Tricks
In most things in life if we do the same thing all the time we get bored. Look at yourself as a sexual being. Ask yourself what do I need to feel more sexy, confident, present? Turn off the t.v., put down your phone, and spend some time with you! If you don’t spend time loving yourself, learning new tricks, what makes you think your partner will. Look at yourself in the mirror in different positions you want to try or practice dirty talking. One of my favorite things to hear from someone is, “You are such a good lover, baby” so I take time to learn new things so I can hear that more.
You didn’t wake up with a college degree, know how to do your job, drive a car, ski down a mountain without learning and seeking knowledge. Just because you have all the equipment doesn’t make you a pro. Sex is the same. If you are reading this article you are on the right track, stay with it! Trying new things is a way to raise the energy between you and your partner.
3.) Look At Each Other & Go Slow
Let go of the porno style of having sex. Did you realize that porn stars win awards for their role playing? That means they are faking it. So stop rabbit banging and looking away from the person you are choosing to have sex with for free without awards. If you do want to go fast, at least learn where the G spot is so your thrusting has a purpose. You will never get the connection or dissolve if you just pound away. Again, it might feel good, you may have an orgasm, but trust me on this one, nothing beats breathing, eye gazing, and moving slower with your partner. Keeping eye contact is so pivotal in achieving connection with our partners or really anyone. Think of when you are meeting someone new and their eye are darting all around everything else but you. How do you feel? Do you feel seen? Or special?
If you don’t feel seen or special just talking to someone with your clothes on if they aren’t looking at you why think that sex is different. We have just become numb to the idea of true connection inundated by a world or porn and Hollywood films of false connection or pleasure. Being present is one of the hardest and sexist things to do when you are with someone. Don’t believe me? Try it for yourself.
So go out there create a ritual of loving with new tricks and look at each other! Have fun and learn to trust and lean into your partner, after all you are having sex with them, you should trust them. Light and love.