You may remember the moment in the movie the Goonies when Brand and Andy start to make out and Chunk and Data have a beautiful rhyme they say. “Shame, shame, it knows your name.” It is moments like that can define and shape your life that might potentially crush your potential for a happy and abundant life.
Shame is defined as, a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety. When was the last time you felt shame? Your shaming might be so subtle that you hadn’t even realized that you have done it. If confidence is the sexiest attribute a person can display, then shame is the silent killer of your confidence, worthiness, happiness and abundance.
How do we derail this shame train? How can we evolve past this outdated record of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety? The answer quite simply is awareness. There is no other way to move past this beast other than to look at straight in the eyes and ask, “What is it that you need me to do in order to silence this broken record?”
How I became present to the shame in my life was listening to my thoughts. What am I thinking about? How am I focusing my mind? What am I feeling when I go through the motions of habits? In order to get clear and hear that inner chatter, one must allow and give permission to be aware of how you are moving through your life.
If you have the shame in your head, chances are shame has also manifested in the form of relationships that you choose to engage in. The word relationship has four different definitions. I think it is important to understand definitions because that is the energy of the word that you are using, so it is imperative to be clear.
The four definitions of relationship are:
So look at all these different relationships in your life and get clear with yourself about patterns that you notice. How does the relationship flow? Does the energy exchange between the parties seem equal? Is there some part of you that enjoys the drama of the shame in the relationship?
That’s the thing about shame. It is so hard to look at your actions, especially when they are super gnarly and go, yes I’m into that pain and shame. In some weird dark corner of my mind that has kept me safe.
The good news is, things don’t have to stay the same. There is no need to keep playing the same old track of shame. But, in order to move forward you need to step into the space of the unknown.
The unknown can be more scary than the shame train because at least we know all the stops on track. The unknown is jumping off the train before it has even stopped, in a town and place you don’t know at all. That my friends, is the juice of life. That is what I believe we are here to do with our time on earth, evolve.
The good news is that you don’t have to jump alone. So many of us struggle with this very thing. The more we can talk about it, the less it has a hold on our lives. The hardest thing is acknowledging for yourself and then asking for help.
I would love to serve you in your jump off the shame train. It’s a jump I constantly have to do in order to move forward in my life. Click this link http://www.lizcdavis.com/work-with-me.html and let’s plan your freedom strategy! Let's use the mentality that the goonies did, Goonies never say DIE!
Healer. Coach. Yogini. Lover. Writer. Risk Taker. Truth Seeker.