This week I chose to pick an old picture and reflect on how I was feeling in that moment in front of the camera and in my life. They say a picture can tell a thousand words, and I fully agree with them.
In first glancing of the picture it seems like a beautiful photo and it is, but as I look into the energy of what is behind the photo it tells a much different story than the pretty face looking back at me.
I noticed my eyes at first. There is this long lost longing in them that is just searching outside of myself. If I look like this, or have that dress or this boyfriend, then I will feel better, or rather, find myself. I remember being so excited to take those pictures that day and feel beautiful and confident because people were telling me I was.
The next I noticed while looking at this picture was my skin. I was in full party mode when this picture was taken. I also didn’t like drinking real water at that point in my life. So maybe I would have a glass a day then have a Vitamin Water or black coffee, more coffee, then some energy drinks. I was unsettled in myself always striving to be thinnest I could be and I thought pumping my body through of all that stuff would contribute to that goal of perfection. That takes a toll on your radiance. I feel my skin looks more vibrant at 30 than it did at 22.
It is an interesting thing to see a beautiful picture and know the pain and suffering underneath as well. Happiness really is an inside job. It can’t be bought or acquired from someone else, it must be from within. Never judge a book by its cover, or better yet, just don't judge. That is the story behind the Throw Back Thursday photo. Light and love.